I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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