is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
