Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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