last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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