dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
