I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
