my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
