And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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