She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
