It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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