i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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