you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
