i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
