I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
