hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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