dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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