She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
