He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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