Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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