I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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