thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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