If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize