someone threw a dead crab at me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Randomize
