Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
