where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
