she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
