This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
