Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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