I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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