$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She told me I should be a condom model.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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