the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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