what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
