I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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