I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
