Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Is it penis luge time yet?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
