i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How's work?
Spinning.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
