I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
