when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize