i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
