she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
