Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize