kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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