For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
nutella sex= disaster
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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