My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
