Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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