I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
being pregnant is like rehab
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
