you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
