I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
