i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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