I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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