It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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