wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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