we have pet lesbian snakes
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
