I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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