this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize