just tell him i said nine months
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize