SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
