Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
