this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize