I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
