I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
